Joke of the day 6

Children of Nowadays


One day two brothers were coming back from school and on their way they saw a used condom,they picked it when they got home they told their mother about it and the mother said.
never in your life when coming back from school pick up this type of a thing.
Children:yes mommy.
Mother: if i ever see this type of a thing in your hands again i'll beat you mercilessly and the children replied yes mommy we will not do it again and the mommy took it from them and throw it away and the senior one said: thank GOD we did not tell her that we drank the icecream inside.

Playboy Guru..Hugh Hefner's runaway Playmate bride: We had sex once, it lasted 'two seconds'… he he he

Crystal Harris is kissing and telling.

After dumping Playboy founder Hugh Hefner just days before their June 18 wedding, Harris revealed intimate details about their sex life — and bashed her ex in the process — during an interview with Howard Stern Tuesday.

When questioned about her life in the bedroom with Hef, the 25-year-old revealed that the couple only had sex once throughout their entire two-year relationship.

"[It lasted] like, two seconds," she disclosed. "Then I was just over it. I was like, 'Ahh.' I was over it. I just, like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef. Sorry."

"He doesn't really take off his clothes. I've never seen Hef naked," she added.

Following the allegations, Hefner fired back and said his ex made the claims up.

"Crystal lied about our relationship on Howard Stern but I don't know why. Maybe a new boyfriend?" he tweeted, before deleting the post Tuesday night.

Hefner then told one of his followers that "Crystal convinced me that she adored me. That was the first lie."

"I feel sorry for Crystal," he told another follower. "She seems lost."

Hefner, 85, recently said that he "missed a bullet" by not marrying Harris and he is adamant that she didn't love him.

But Harris told Stern that she did in fact love him — as well as the lifestyle he lived.

Stern suggested that Harris should have stayed in the marriage for at least two years in order to cash in from the relationship.

"I couldn't even stay another couple days," she replied.

Since splitting from Hef, Harris has been spotted hanging out with Dr. Phil's son Jordan McGraw, but denies any romantic involvement with him.

And as for Hefner? He tweeted that he's "happy to be in a better place with new girlfriends Anna Sophia Berglund & Shera Bechard."

12-year-old girl who bravely talked of sex-slave horror is missing again

Sex slave at age 11, little girl bravely tells her horror tale to save others
A 12-year-old Bronx girl who bravely told a horrifying tale of being abducted and pimped out is missing again.

In a front-page Daily News article on May 1, the girl recounted how she was snatched in September 2010 and held captive for five days on the lower East Side.

After being forced to have sex with men for money, she escaped and was reunited with her family.

Two men are charged in connection with her case.

Dawud McKelvin, 30, who struck up a relationship with the girl while she was sitting outside one day, is charged with rape and sexual assault and is jailed in lieu of $500,000 bail.

McKelvin's cousin, Lee McKelvin, 38, was also charged.

The young victim has been living with her grandmother and undergoing counseling.

"She was here and fine and then she was gone," said the grandmother, Yolanda Agostini. "Please, everyone, keep an eye out for her. Call the cops. We want her back."

The girl vanished after leaving her Balcom Ave. apartment at 7 a.m. Wednesday, wearing a turquoise halter dress and sandals and carrying a brown Coach bag, cops said. She is 5-feet-3 and 170 pounds.

David Beckham bald patch: Football player's latest look……NO.. DAVID..NO

We've seen him with centre partings, crew cuts, ponytails, cornrows and even a Mohawk.
But David Beckham’s many admirers are unlikely to copy what seems to be his latest style – the bald patch.
It could of course have been a trick of the light, but the 36-year-old soccer star nicknamed Goldenballs seemed to have a chink in his tonsorial armour as he carried his six-week-old daughter Harper into a Los Angeles restaurant.
Beckham, who at one time had a multi-million-pound sponsorship deal with Brylcreem, still chooses to grease back his hair.

Nigeria???? 50 Virgins Needed To Avert Predicted Lagos Flooding- Spiritualists!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!

Spiritualist who ply their trade in Lagos have warned that the state will experience another deluge of torrential rainfall and flooding of Biblical proportions unless 50 virgins can be found for a ritual to appease the gods.

The virgins, who must be native Lagosians, be old enough to marry and be very beautiful, will dance naked to Bar Beach in the dead of night, singing and pleading with Yemoja to please spare the state and its people.

The council of Lagos State Spiritualist has notified the state government of the need and urgency to carry out the ritual and as a result the government has warned citizens to brace up for more heavy downpour and runaway flooding starting from next week.

Joke of the day 5

Father and Son conversation


FATHER AND SON
Dad asked his son: Whenever i beat you how do u stop your anger?
Son replies: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad asked: How does that help u?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush!!!!!!

Joke of the day 4

IMAGINE

Imagine what people do in church " I was in the middle of a mass
when I saw a guy Light his Cigarette; I was so shocked that I nearly dropped my Beer...........................

Joke of the day 3

Who had the best dream?

The Mexican Man, British man, & African man, were walking in the desert and after many miles. they found a lunchpack. In the lunchpack there was a big bottle of water, a large piece of meat, and a big piece of bread. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough to feed the 3 men so, they came to a agreement that they should sleep on it, and whoever has the best dream will win the food. The next morning when they awoke the Mexican & African men looked at the British man & asked, "what did u dream? The British man said,i dream I visited the queen in the royal palace, They both were amused by his dream, Next, the British & African men looked @ the Mexican man and asked "What did you dream?" he told them, I dream that I met this fine senorita, We married & had 3 kids, they were amused by his dream. The mexican & british men looked @ the africa man and asked, What did you dream? the african man looked them in the eyes and said..... I dream that i was in this dry dessert and while walking a stumbled across this lunch sack so i looked inside and found 1 lg bottle water, 1 big piece of meat, and 1 big piece of bread, it seemed weird because I thought I was sleep walking, but the funny thing is it was actually reality.

Joke of the day 2

Barbing Salon

A man went to a salon for a hair cut, on getting there the man ask the barber, MAN: how much to cut hair?, BARBER : 500naira, MAN: haba, that expensive, ok how much to shave? BARBER: 50naira. MAN: "ABEG COME SHAVE MY HEAD"

Joke of the day

FISH BRAIN
there was a small girl called MIMI that was told not to show her pant to people. one day while playing on the skull field, she went to the bush and hide her pant. After a while, she lifted her clothes up and said ''YOU PEOPLE CANNOT SEE MY PANT''

Nigerian actress..Kate Henshaw Nuttal: My husband is a Nigerian irrespective of his color

brunt of criticism weeks ago for a comment she allegedly made that sought to cast black Nigerian Men as somewhat inferior to their diasporan counterparts. It was further alleged that her husband is a non-African Native hence the comments she made. In a recent interview she conducted however, Kate Henshaw addresses that issue, her career and marriage:

Everybody is getting older, but you seem to be getting younger?

Someone said my own is akin to the curious case of Benjamin Burton. I don’t know if you watch that film. He was aging backwards. He started-off as an old man and as he was getting older, he was getting younger. That’s what someone told me, but I don’t believe it. You people are just pulling my legs.

What are you doing now?

I’ve just finished the run of a monologue. I’m doing a job with Aunty Joke too. I’ve just shot a new commercial for promasidor, makers of Onga. In short from the 10th of this month till December, I’m doing a lot with Onga in the market. In the east, north, and south. So many places. Firms are trying to get their brands tied to a known face. Somebody they believe has a mass appeal that people love.
So, that also helps the brand, helps who is advertising the brand and for both of them it’s like a synergy. So you shouldn’t cage yourself, because if you cage yourself, you are caging the brand as well. The Glo deal was a wonderful development and I thank Chief Mike Adenuga.He did a great thing with that. to read more go here..

Nigeria- Lagos .. Fashola signs law against abandonment of pregnant women

Great!!!!!

Governor Babatunde Fashola yesterday, signed a bill into law, which allows for the prosecution and jailing of any man who impregnates and deserts any woman.

The bill presented to the governor by the state’s Commissioner of Justice and Attorney General, Mr. Ade Ipaye, at Government House, Ikeja, was among three other bills presented for the governor’s assent.
Other bills include amendments to provisions of the Emergency Management Agency, EMA, Law and the Administration of Criminal Justice.

Fashola, while assenting to the bills, said the various amendments to the laws were needed to tackle the problem of crime and delay in administration of justice in the state.

He said the enactment of the laws represented the commitment of the state government to building strong institutions, that could tackle crime and corruption, which had crippled the country.

He added that the country needed strong legislation to fight corruption and moral laxity.

Fashola explained that the Criminal Code Law, used in the state before now was enacted in 1914 by the colonial masters, saying that such laws and their provisions had since become obsolete and could not address challenges posed by present realities.

China is Reportedly Selling Pills Made Out of Dead Babies to Enhance Stamina

There was a rumor floating around that somewhere in China, pills made out of dead babies were being sold. A Korean television documentary team decided to track down the truth behind the rumor, and found a hospital that sells dead babies, mostly abortions or stillbirths. The team found that when the hospital had a 'deceased baby case,' the staff were instructed to immediately alert the medicine company.

The television team also uncovered the process by which the dead baby pills were made. The medicine companies store the dead babies in a refrigerator until they are ready to use the dead baby, then they put it into a medical drying microwave. Once dry, they grind the dead baby up and put the powder into a pill capsule.

The television team paid a lot of money to get some of the pills, and when they tested them, found the pills’ contents were 99.7 percent human, and were also able to discern the babies’ gender from the powder, as well as found hair and nail remnants.

The dead babies used were supposedly used with the mother’s consent. The documentary aired August 6 on SBS TV South Korea.

Shaquille O'Neal and his Miniature Girlfriend. Wow…

Pictures of poor people stealing in London.....someone please help....

London riot looters…

to see more pic go here...

Documentary On Nigerian Women Trafficking To Italy

I have seen couple of insights into trafficking in Italy, but on this occasion the life of Nigerians gangs and their activities in Italy. How the girls are convinced that they will turn mad if they go against the "juju" oaths.

Star Actress, Maureen Solomon, Disgraced Out Of Assembly For Wearing Mini??...

Popular screen diva Maureen Solomon received more than what she bargained last Tuesday at the Imo State House of Assembly complex when she was disgracefully marched out of the building for dressing provocatively to the hallowed chambers of the state legislature.
The married actress who was at the assembly complex to see a principal officer of the house was wearing a sexually assaulting micro mini gown that obviously made her the center of attention.

Trouble however started for the beautiful actress when the assembly’s Sergeant at Arms accosted her and politely asked her to leave. It was when the lady attempted arguing with house officer that other visitors noticed the drama and the female Sergeant at Arms stood her ground that Mrs. Solomon must leave.

She eventually complied and was followed to her car to make sure she doesn’t come back in the same dress.

Mrs. Solomon eventually returned in an hour’s time wearing another black mini gown, but fairly better than what she wore earlier.

Ghana Orders Mass Arrest Of Gays In The Country..

Ghana’s Western Region Minister, Paul Evans Aidoo MP has ordered the immediate arrest of all homosexuals in the country’s west.
Aidooo has tasked Ghana’s Bureau of National Investigations and security forces to round up the country’s gay population and has called on landlords and tenants to inform on people they suspect of being homosexuals. “All efforts are being made to get rid of these people in the society,” he said.
The move by the Minister follows months of campaigning by the Christian Council of Ghana which last week called on Ghanaians not to vote for any politician who believes in the rights of homosexuals.
Muslims and Christians in the Western Region have been staging protests ever since a local media report claimed there were around 8000 homosexuals and lesbians in the district.
However, a lawyer at Kwame Nkrumah University, Ernest Kofi Abotsie, questioned the legality of the move.
Abotsie said laws outlawing “unnatural canal knowledge” in the Ghanaian criminal code were ambiguous and had not been defined to mean homosexuality, and it was wrong for politicians to be telling police how to carry out their duties.

Pastor Arrested For Fingering 5 Women.. ah ah ah …

A 29-year-old self-styled Man of God has been nabbed by the Adenta District Police Command for allegedly inserting his fingers into the private parts of five women under the pretext of praying for them.
Prophet Richard Addo, who claims to be a member of Word Miracle Church at Nungua, a suburb of Accra, was arrested after one of the women boldly reported the incident to the police.

As at press time yesterday, the five complainants had given their statements to the Adenta police about the alleged acts of Prophet Richard Addo.

According to information available to DAILY GUIDE, Prophet Addo also charged the women various amounts of money ranging from GH¢150 to GH¢200 and as well tried to ravage their bodies.

According to one of the victims (named with-held), she met the man of God in November 2010 on the street where he told her that he had had a vision in which a baby was walking behind her and crying.

“I then confessed to him that I have had an abortion before and he said that he will help me pray to break that bondage. to read more go here..

Nigerian Hookers Demand Deportation Of Foreign Contenders????…

Nigerian commercial sex workers in Sokoto State are at war with their counterparts from neighbouring Republic of Niger and Togo.

The Nigerian prostitutes are calling on Immigration Officials to arrest and deport the foreign prostitutes because they are snatching their customers and also operating illegally in the country.
“We want them out because most of our customers are Hausa who prefer them to us,” says one of the prostitutes at Mammy Market, Sokoto.

She explained that an average prostitute pays at least N8,500 a week for a one-room accommodation and security, “which means we must sleep with at least four men a day as we charge N500 for short time,” she said.

Another lady who gave her name as Ngozi said another reason they wanted Nigerien and Togolese prostitutes out of the business was because they spread sexually transmitted diseases.


“All the foreign prostitutes here are HIV positive. We know their status,” she claimed.

When contacted, some of the prostitutes from Niger Republic described the action of their hosts as bordering on envy and jealousy.to read more go here