Let your haters be your motivators!” This phrase suggests that we should use the negative comments and opinions of others as fuel to propel us towards success. It also suggests that we are at the center of someone else‘s world; that we are “special” because they have fixed a laser-like focus upon us. They covet what we have. They want to do what we do. They actually want to BE us, and it kills them that they can’t be! We are on stage and our “haters” make up the audience. Our little egos take over and we go all in; working it and giving the performance of a lifetime.
And this is how we get caught up. We take note of every look and every comment—looking for signs of the hate and seeking confirmation from others that we are indeed being hated on. It’s all about us, all the time. We enjoy the spotlight; preening, prancing and twirling as we derive a sense of accomplishment from watching others suffer in their toxic thoughts. We are somehow validated by their misery.
But, let’s be clear about one thing: what we call being hated on is merely another person’s reaction to a SELF-generated perception of themselves, other people, or the world. And that perception is that life for them is unfair, or that they are somehow not good enough. We do nothing to inspire anyone’s hatred, envy or jealousy. We can only be the target. When we allow our egos to take someone else’s negative behavior towards us as a compliment, what we are telling ourselves is that their diminished state of being is what makes us “good”, “better”, or ”best.” Our story is that the more they hate on us, the better off we must be. And in this place, who are we being that we would use this as a tool to measure our success?
No, we cannot control what others think or say about us. But, let’s not flatter ourselves with stories of inspiring HATE in others. We don’t need haters to motivate us. All we need is confidence in our own ability to be, do and have whatever it is that we want. Belief is the fuel.
